Star Wars Rogue One: Breaking Down the Latest Teaser Trailer

Earlier this past week, another Star Wars trailer was released. I am not going to lie, it caught me by surprise. I first saw it as an unexpected GIF that came across my screen, and it quickly spread like wildfire.

I was confused- I saw the Death Star, heard some of the original music being played in the background, Stormtroopers, the Imperial Shuttle, an AT-AT Imperial Walker, and a figure that appeared to possibly be Darth Vader.

All of this in a 2:30 second trailer.

But let’s reset everything and take another look at this trailer. It’s exactly what its name would suggest: a tease.

Once you realize that you are being led towards the events that take place leading up to Episode IV: A New Hope, it is basically the foreplay that you know you’ve seen before but still gets you going.

Death Star… Holy Bleep!

Imperial Shuttle being blown up…amaze balls!!

AT-AT Imperial Walker firing missiles… pelvic hip thrusts!!!

Darth Vader?!… It’s the gift that won’t stop giving, like seeing the number 69 and yelling “Nice!”

Here is what we know based off the teaser: Jyn Erso’s mission is to steal the plans for the Death Star before the Empire can use it to destroy planets and terrorize every man, woman and child. This appears to be a war film, and looks like it could draw on World War II-like themes. We ultimately know the result of the film, as we have seen Episode IV. Princess Leia is eventually captured by the Empire.

However, we are all in it for the journey. Here is what I hope happens…

We see Yoda, Darth Vader and possibly Darth Sidious.

However, I don’t think we’ll see it. Disney wants to create a new and popular characters so they can move away from the Skywalker’s and Solo’s.

Also, they really like money, and definitely want to sell more stuffed animals/action figures.

The movie appears to steer away from the Jedi and focus on this particular mission. However, this teaser is basically one big glimpse of side boob for all of us to keep going wild over until the next trailer comes out. The film is another primer for Episode VIII, but regardless of the context, the love and passion will never leave us Star Wars fans. It will just keep feeding the addiction. Rogue One is our fix for 2016, and just as Disney has planned it, we’ll keep getting our fix with in-between films until the main events every other year.

So get excited Star Wars fans…

Even. More. Side boob.

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